Thoughts from Another Year Around the Sun

Thank you for all your Birthday wishes! I’ve gotten another year older, taken another trip around the Sun. I may not necessarily get wiser, but certainly more experienced. I find I’m prone to drop more wisdom (for what it’s worth) and more advice (though no one may ask for it). That’s what we tend to do as the years click by. Maybe that’s the secret to immortality. Isn’t that why we constantly quote the dead? I have learned a few things, a lot in this past year, so indulge me (or yourself) while I divulge some sound words of advice, drop some learned knowledge and/or spread some thick b.s. (which is what it may all be, but that’s fine too). Feel free to cue up an instrumental version of Baz Luhrmann’s “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)” as I will dispense this advice...now:


Open your mind or your heart before you open your mouth.


Go to one music festival a year - 1 day, 3 days, 1 week, doesn’t matter - and go when the gates open to watch the opening bands you’ve never heard of. Don’t hang out at the Four Seasons pool until the sun goes down.


See the legends before they pass away (RIP Tom Petty).


If you’re in a Starbucks bathroom, let’s not go the #2 route. Coffee’s a diuretic and you’re being rude to coffee drinkers. Let’s work on the turnover rate when it’s busy.


Oreo keeps releasing exclusive flavors. They’re funky and worth trying. Except the Swedish Fish. If they bring back Swedish Fish flavored Oreos, we march on their headquarters.


If you like a street performer, give them some coin or cash. Encourage good art. It’s a subjective phrase, so I’ll leave that in your hands. Don’t tip someone just because they’re performing. Don’t encourage bad art...which is also subjective.


Don’t assume you’re being tipped. Tips are extra money given for exemplary service.


Farts are funny. Always have been, always will be. If you don’t think so, you have a stick in your butt...which would sound hilarious if you farted.


People may not seem to care - and they actually may not! - but I just think that people don’t think of others enough, that’s why they text in movie theaters, don’t use their turn signal and post negative comments online. If that’s you, don’t text in movie theaters, use your turn signal and don’t be too quick to post something negative online.


Dance like people are watching.


Sometimes jokes are jokes. They may not be good. They may be offensive. However, they come from a place that someone thought was funny. That’s why we have a variety of entertainment, and remote controls, preset radio stations and exit doors.


Changing the channel is easier than trying to change the system.


News channels, websites and blogs need views to get advertising dollars to survive. The bigger ones are multi-million dollar media outlets. They may have relevant information, but above all they are in the business of getting ratings to make money.


Don’t be so quick to Google. Try to figure it out first. The brain needs a workout every now and then.


Opinion has no place in a scientific debate.


Don’t default to staring at your phone if you’re in a room full of interesting people. At least find out if they’re interesting first. Be interesting.


Memorize important phone numbers.


If you have to get up early, smile at others you see who also had to get up early. Nobody wants to be up that early, so help each other out and make the most of it.


Go to a foreign country at least once. I’ll include Canada and Mexico on that list.


Go to a different state that’s the opposite political color of your own.


Go to a different city on the opposite end of your state and spend a weekend there.


Go to a new restaurant where the menu scares you.


Colonics are dreadful and over-rated.


Ease off the fast food.


Ignorance isn’t bliss, it’s an excuse.


Taylor Swift and Katy Perry may be beefing, but that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying their music at full volume and singing along. Unless you’re in heavy traffic or at a red light. In which case, roll up the windows. You never know who’s #TeamTaylor or #TeamKaty.


The only diet plan that has proven consistently effective in the history of the modern world is this: Eat well and be active.


Act like a child sometimes. Use your imagination, giggle uncontrollably, play with abandon, do dumb things and learn from them, and if you poop your pants, say “uh oh.”


Always have music playing. It’s easier to serve up a memory years down the line if you can associate it with a song.


Love is love is love is love is love. And consent is consent.


Everybody who changed the world before the internet didn’t have the internet to help them change the world.


Sports were developed purely for entertainment purposes. That’s worth remembering.


Don’t overdo it in Amsterdam, on your birthday, or at Burning Man. Also, don’t under-do it.


Sexism, fascism, misogyny, racism, homophobia, xenophobia...If you support any of these, statistically, in the US, you are in the minority. Don’t try to pretend you’re the majority. And don’t try to pretend you’re right and everybody else is wrong.


Vote.


Don’t talk about religion or politics. Try talking about the weather. The conversation may not be as stimulating but you’ll have fewer enemies.


Support your friends.


Whatever diet plan you’re on, incorporate a cheat day and stick to it.


Don’t overuse fml, worst day ever or #blessed.


Go see art. A lot of it sucks, and that’s okay. Some if it will literally change your world and that’s worth the risk.


You’re pretty, talented, worthwhile, beautiful and necessary.


It gets better. It also gets worse. Then it gets better again. Every uphill has a downhill and every downhill has an uphill. Life’s a roller-coaster. That’s what makes it interesting. Plateaus are boring. Hang in there.


Not every news item is a partisan issue.


Someone may say “Merry -“ or “Happy -“ whatever to you. Take it in the spirit it’s given. They weren’t trying to be mean or nasty. Respond how you want. Preferably with a “Merry -“ or “Happy -“ whatever of your own.


You have the power to not be offended.


Stop paying to see bad movies.


It’s OK that someone disagrees with you. You don’t have to be their friend in real life or maintain your even-more-important social media connection.


Take a road trip and focus on the journey, not the destination. Don’t pass up the best parts of the trip.


Live life like there are consequences for your actions. Because there are. At least, there should be. At some point, you’ll stop getting bailed out. Be thankful every time you are, but don’t expect it for every dumb thing you do.


Above all, laugh, smile, giggle, guffaw, or chortle. Make someone else do the same. It’s way more rewarding than filling someone with anger, fear, embarrassment or tears.


But trust me on the sunscreen...