Yet Another Trip Around the Sun... Hopefully Not the Last

This "Thank you for the Birthday Wishes" and "Birthday Thoughts" post is way late. Like really late. Weeks. But in 2020, what is time anymore, really?

Or maybe it just took me a while to formulate it. There has been other important stuff going on (did you know I learned how to sew and am teaching myself French? See? Important stuff!).

However, I've decided to send it up to social media today because it seems like a really, really slow news day so certainly you have plenty of time to read it. It's long...

First and foremost, thank you to every single one of you that wished me "Happy Birthday" whether via social media post, text, phone call, email or in person. That's always nice to hear. We could definitely do with getting rid of Facebook, but then every year the birthday reminder function kind of justifies the other 364 days of anger, negativity and hatred.

For the uninitiated: Every year on my Birthday I rattle off some "life lessons" that I've reflected on and attempted to instill in my life due my my years and years and years and years of experience on this earth. They're fun to post, represent some kind of positive aspect of life and were inspired by Baz Luhrman's fantastic "Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen)."

This year may be different though. Many times in the past I've advocated traveling more, hugging loved ones harder and seeing as much live music as you can. I still pat myself on the back for good advice like that in the past but if I posted that now I'm afraid I'd start a political debate and be requested to "cite my sources." 

So this one may be a bit more blustery. Less confined. Perhaps longer. Frankly, I'm just avoiding turning on the TV...

<Pours a sliver of whiskey into his coffee> Here goes:

- Travel more. OK, I lied. I will advocate this. Yes, it's scary and difficult and dang near impossible to do freely, but dammit if it doesn't open your perspective, you mind, your heart and your eyes. It really is the best thing to do outside of 12 years of solid schooling.

- Know this: Any media (ANY) is there to make money. That's how they stay afloat. If they don't have audience and eyeballs, they no longer exist. Keep this in mind when consuming, recommending or passing on any media. OK, I'm talking about news. Look, there are legitimate unbiased news journalists out there working on TV, in print and at your local bar, but even they have to maintain viewership to maintain relevance. We're in the age of  the "news celebrity." We choose who we want to watch and they get rewarded with eyeballs and ad dollars. They have to make you want to watch so they will cater to their audience and to their emotions.
Way back when, Walter Kronkite was the most trusted man in media. Well, he didn't have a hell of a lot of competition. There were 3 channels and you either watched the "news" or probably some spaghetti Western or game show on the other 2 channels. His job was news.
Then 24-hour news happened and there was a scramble for viewers. Then the internet happened and there was a scramble by print media to get online views. Then social media happened and there was a scramble by bloggers, websites and "influencers" to get likes and views.
It all adds up to money.
And that money comes from views. 
And we view this stuff because it makes us feel something (either hate watching or cohabitating in an echo chamber).
Nobody's watching, reacting to and sharing moderate news. It's the train wrecks and OMG's that get the mentions. And the cash.
I'm sure everybody knows this... Just keep it in mind and treat it as such.

- I think this one is an epilogue to the above: We all just want to feel. Especially this year. It's human nature. In years past, we could go to a movie or hang out with friends or seek community for those good vibes to escape the bad ones. This year, we can't do that. It's unfortunate because this year we've all become a bit shell-shocked and numb. We want to feel more than ever. 
In relation to the above, no one's really broadcasting the good vibes news of the day, so we don't get our dose of that. 
But we still want to "feel" so we glom onto any "feelings" we can get. Anger, sadness and fear are next in line and those are so easy to broadcast and default to; and we're doing it in droves.
So I guess the advice here: Seek out the positive, the heart-warming, the funny, the insipid, the bland. Anything but anger, sadness and fear (trust me, they'll always be there)

- OK, now we're really on a piggy-backing roll.... Let's relax on worrying about what the "deep state" is doing or how shadow forces are controlling our every move or trying to figure out what the endgame is of people far more powerful, rich and connected than you or I. Trust me, you'll never figure it out and you'll never break it. They're far too powerful, rich and connected. I wish we could, but they're experience in masking far outweighs our amateur online gumshoeing. And here's the honest truth: It doesn't affect your life. It won't change how you hang out with your family, drink a hot cup of tea or swim a few laps in your pool. It really just has no affect on your day-to-day life. And trying to figure it out only leads to fear, frustration and melancholy. Live your life, not theirs.

- Dance. (That's always an easy one to put on here)

- Through my years I'm proud to have gathered a solid group of friends from very random facets of life, all differing in many ways - gender, religion, sexuality, politics, social issues, height, weight, star signs. I'm humbled by it and they all fascinate me in one way or another every day and challenge me about who I am because that's who they are.
No one is one single "thing." Your gay friend is not just a gay friend, they're more than that. You're libertarian friend is not just libertarian, they're more than that. Your tall friend is really tall, but also more than that. (Ideally they'd be helpful too since they can reach the high shelves). We all are.
(Caveat: UNLESS someone identifies themselves so singularly as one thing [OK, I'm mostly thinking politics here...]. If they do, then they ask to be judged as that one thing and that's their prerogative and their hill to live and die on.)
It's my experience that the majority of people are asking to be judged as a whole and not on one specific thing. You cannot easily identify anyone - outside of what they choose to wear sometimes, but even that could be a shot in the dark. That's what's fun about being human with feelings and free will and different upbringings. (as opposed to, say, koala bears who we can say are super cute but also can be vicious. And that's ALL koala bears).

OK. This is about politics, mostly (what can I say, it's Nov. 3). I have friends squarely on both sides of the aisle who are not ashamed to say who they support. Some are more ardent than others. However, that's not all they are. Yes, there are some that have become ONLY about that, in which case I find them boring and one-sided. But the vast majority of people are layered and, if you connect with any of that, you can still be friends who can have interesting conversations and intense debates and agree to disagree. If they're your friends, you should be able to. If you find them wrong on something, you should be able to say something and have an educated discourse. Some people are more passionate about things that you aren't, in which case, we should all be better about when and where we choose our battles and if it's even worth it. Yes, friends can also be frustrating and irritating and you can cut them in and out of your life. If we were simple beings we wouldn't have done things like invented airplanes and had and followed dreams and thought fruit on pizza was a good idea and loved and hurt. It's your call who you want to engage with, be around and entrust. Choose wisely. If you choose wrong, adjust.

- Since it's Nov. 3 - vote. I never say who I'm voting for because I still believe that's a private act. DM or PM me if you wanna chat about it or if it really interests you. If you know me well enough, then you've already read this far and probably know how my ballot will roll out. But you'd also probably be surprised....

- Last one which piggybacks on top of all of my other AMAZING insight from above: Be who you are, believe what you want to believe, experience your life experience but, if you do anything or choose any path or make any choices in life, just don't be an asshole.
Really, that's it: Don't be an asshole.
I'm keen to let everything else slide if you're nice and kind, maintain empathy and are accepting. If you're an asshole, then you're doing life wrong and you need to re-evaluate the miracle of you being here, the relationships you maintain and why you're wrong. (Trust me, I've been an asshole before and learned from it. And am still learning. It's hard sometimes to be right all the freakin' time! Nobody ever is)

You can 100% be you and follow your path.
Racism, sexism, homophobia, religious intolerance and ignorance are inalienable wrongs and I'll stand by that (you should too...geez!)

But whatever you do:

Don't be an asshole.