One more time around the sun, with FEELING!

​See? Social media can be good! Thank you all so much for the kind birthday wishes and blessings and virtual verbal hugs over the past few weeks.

Frankly, I’m astounded that someone could post anything on social media and have 100% out-pouring of positivity, love, encouragement and funny emojis.

I figured, with the way things seem to be going, that at least 67% of all comments would be some variation of “go eff yourself,” “do your research” or “but what about everybody else who doesn’t have a birthday today?”

The above paragraph isn’t meant to be cynical, it’s just expressing a point: When given a choice, gosh it feels so much better to be nice. I’ve never batted 1.000 but I’m working on it.

At the risk of comments being ass-y again, I’m going to do my annual birthday post of “Things Learned.” I’ve done it every year since I was 21 (I’m 25 now) and it’s just my way of sharing some things I’ve learned, lessons I’ve gleaned, ideas I’ve had or really what I think are good suggestions to make your life better (because I know you all so well). This is the kind of stuff that happens to you when you get older: Introspection.

To wit:

• Try a new haircut. Those mistakes don’t last but you never know what you might discover.
• Get your passport. Travel. Safely, but with an open mind.
• If you don’t like a particular website, stay off that website. If you don’t like a particular TV show, don’t watch that show. If you don’t like a particular person, don’t talk to that person.
• Binge “Harry Mack Omegle Bars” on YouTube. Trust me.
• You don’t know everything you think you know.
• Everybody’s biased. Don’t act shocked.
• Read more books and less social media feeds.
• Share your dessert.
• Taste your food before you put table salt or pepper on it. Give the chef the benefit of the doubt.
• When you feel the urge to watch the news, re-watch “Ted Lasso” instead.
• Change your oil every 5000 miles (-ish), not 3000. I know people who still go by the 3000 mile rule. That’s out-dated.
• Buy vintage or second-hand. The clothes are cooler, it’s sustainable and you’ll appear more interesting (it’s up to you to back that up)
• Help each other out. I don’t know how, but you do.
• I swear we’re more alike than different.
• Hard work pays off every time.
• Being offended, ashamed or guilty is something you manifest. Don’t put that on someone else doing it to you.
• If someone needs help from being verbally or physically assaulted, please put down the phone and help. Their well-being is far more important than your YouTube views.
• Use your turn signal. (I think I post this one every year. It’s not making much of a difference but I will not rest until you all give a crap about letting everyone else on the road know if you’re turning or changing lanes. The previous sentence comes from someone who is slowly morphing into an old man on a front porch).
• Cancel culture isn’t as powerful as you think it is. You can say anything you want as long as it’s funny, salient, satirical, well-stated and/or backed up. If you don’t like consequences for what you say, don’t say it.
• Also, don’t say most of what you want to. That moment that you feel the need to speak up will pass.
• All moments will pass.
• There are always new moments mere seconds after the last ones.
• Make the good moments last. Move quickly past the bad ones.
• Don’t waste your moments. You don’t have that many of them.
• Support your friend’s art.
• Book me for whatever you got. I promise it’ll pay off. And I won’t be around forever.

The last point was brought to you by shameless selfish social media promo. It was either that or a nudie and, frankly, my lighting is terrible where I am….

I’m writing this in a cafe in the Montmarte section of Paris. The weather’s cloudy, I don’t really like this city (not sorry), my coffee’s cold and the server’s rude… and I love every bit of right now. That’s called “experiencing life.” Do that, not the other thing you were thinking about doing today.

On a personal and heavy note: I have now lost 2 parents to depression. That’s brutal. And both of them had plenty more life to live, plenty of folks that loved and supported them, and gave up way too soon. I’m not saying this looking for condolences - that’s all been said and appreciated. I’m saying this to let you know that it’s very easy to wind up like them and not realize what it does to those around you. It’s also quite do-able to be the opposite. Sometimes it’s just a choice, sometimes it involves a bit of work, sometimes it involves asking for help when it’s absolutely uncomfortable doing so and sometimes it takes something a little more medically professional. Whatever the case, if mental health has you down, be open about it with those you trust because, despite what you might think, people can be very nice.
Life is short and the world’s small.
Don’t waste time wasting away in your own mind.

And honestly: Thank you for the birthday love. Meant more to me this year than any other.

I’ll go back to posting insipid jokes and self-promotion now.

Thank you for coming to my JOELTalk.

PHOTO by Reed Davis