Lessons Learned from a Year on the Road...

It’s another long birthday post...

Every year on my birthday, I get a little introspective, try to pass on any sort of wisdom that one is supposed to accrue through the years, and generally give you a social media break from partisanship, anger, negativity, verbal hate mongering and, well, videos of physical hate-mongering (shudder).

Usually I just put it in bullet points, sort of a “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)” without the fancy Baz Luhrman beat or gravel voice of R. Lee Ermy.

Stuff like:

- Hold a door, use a turn signal, push the “door open” button on the elevator. It’s the small things.
- Chipotle hack: Get 2 kinds of meat at Chipotle, add the fajita vegetables and get your tortilla on the side. Should feed you for 2 1/2 days.
- Look up, not always down.
- If someone doesn’t answer the phone, leave a message. Don’t be a mystery. And don’t leave cloudy messages like “Call me, I have something really super-duper life-changing important to tell you. I should be home after 3.” Don’t bury headlines.

So that’s what I usually do. Record it yourself with a fancy trap beat and you’ll have yourself the next novelty hit.

This year’s different. My one tip I almost always put on there is “Travel.” I’ve always been a fan and took that to heart last year. November 1, 2018. I left my apartment in Los Angeles ostensibly to go to NY. I only now just made it to the Big Apple. 11 1/2 months later. Oops. Well...I never said I was a planner...

The rest of the year has been on the road, air and sea going where the work and wind take me. Of course, if you’re reading this still it means you probably follow me on social media or know me in real life and all of this shouldn’t be a shock.

So in keeping with my “Birthday advice to you,” I’ll expound on that. Drop what I’ve learned. Espouse the main lesson(s) of this “travel year.” I get it: Doing that, dropping everything and becoming a nomad (I’m not homeless!) isn’t for everybody. It’s not feasible for some lifestyles and probably doesn’t interest others. That’s why I did it for you. It’s been an exciting, energizing, lonely, creative, romantic, surprising, sometimes quiet but never boring roller-coaster of a road trip. Chernobyl, Super Bowl LIII, Burning Man, Mt. Rushmore, sold out theatre in Palm Springs, sold out standup comedy in Paris, Belarus, Disneyland, cops in Kiev, dancers in Las Vegas, mai tais in Maui (don’t worry, it’s not as lascivious as it sounds...)... it’s been a year.

My gift to you on my Birthday:

- Everyone is generally good. Anywhere. Yes, there are a-holes out there. Avoid them. Don’t talk to them. Don’t engage. Don’t watch their show. Don’t friend them online. Don’t worry about them. And yes, there are evil people, either unrepentantly due to biology, neurology or up-bringing. But for the most part, everyone is good. Maybe misguided, or disagreeable, but good.
- English is spoken everywhere. Still, learn “please,” “thank you,” “hello” and “goodbye” in whatever language wherever you’re going.
- Avoid chain restaurants.
- A smile is international.
- Political leanings are not a person’s only characteristic, unless they make it so. But don’t foist it on someone. Have a logical discourse about politics if you must. If that’s impossible, either avoid the topic or avoid each other.
- The cheapest hotel/motel/AirBnB option is in the worst part of town. Always. But sometimes that can be really...interesting.
- The world isn’t as messy as the news would make you believe.
- There is some crazy good music in a language you can never hope to understand.
- Always pack a hoodie, flip-flops and a swimsuit.
- Truck stops have the best worst food.
- “Sometimes a rainbow is better than a pot of gold.” I’m not ashamed to say Bret Michaels wrote that line.
- I swear this is true: You can get along with people of different religions, sexualities, genders, classes, races or ideologies than you. Just don’t try to turn them into you. There’s already one of those.
- Nothing good happens after 2am, but nothing beats staying up til sunrise.
- Sunsets kick ass, no matter what part of the world you’re in. Take a minute to appreciate it.
- People love to laugh. That’s their default emotion.

This is already getting long. What can I say? I’ve had a lot of time to think this year, which can be a blessing and a curse. Maybe I’ll put it all in a book for you reader types.

If I could pass on one more plea, though: Although I think Ellen kinda flubbed it and, of course, the internet BLEW UP!, I do have to reflect her general message: “Be Kind.”

Honestly, we only spin around this world once (depending on what you believe anyway). I know “Be Kind” is kind of Pollyanna and trite and doesn’t address the wider concerns of the world (of which there are many), but it’s a good goal to strive for. It doesn’t take much. You can still be a raging Twitter news junkie and still do a little something to spread that kindness - say “thank you,” compliment a haircut, carry a grocery bag, make someone laugh.

It feels like we’re sitting on a powder keg out there. Let’s do our best to not light the fuse...

Happy Birthday to all of you.

(And if you leave angry comments on this, you’ve totally missed the point. Move on.)