JOEL BRYANT
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Sporadic Blog

Joel's head is a bit big, shape-wise. This is where he puts stuff down that fell out of it...
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(COMING SOON: More “The JOEL Wide World” where he puts into writing his travel experiences - from 5-star hotels on the Italian Coast to desert camping under the Joshua Tree stars, from dog-sledding in Montana, snorkeling in the Philippines or dancing til dawn at Burning Man, there isn’t an adventure he’d say “no” to!)

Merci, Danke, Ευχαριστώ, Ačiū, Paldies, Gracias, Dziękuję, Bedankt

5/7/2024

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​And that’s the end of another run of standup comedy shows in Europe. Final tally:
42 days
39 shows
20 cities
12 countries
20,047 miles (32263 km)
As I head back to the U.S. for some gigs, and put a bow on this latest 6-week foray, I’m reminded that I used to say “well, back to reality.” But that doesn’t apply anymore. I suppose, by default, this is my reality … for now. I think I’m ok with that. I have longed for roots for a while but where to plant, where to plant? Maybe my roots is searching for roots?
Until then, seeing new places, smiling faces and loving your occupation to the point of exhaustion will have to do.
From 10-minute guest spots to 1 hour 20 minute headline runs that felt like we could’ve gone another hour, thank you to all of these venues, bookers or producers who allowed me the space to sweat and giggle:
Lyon: Le Complexe café-théâtre
Berlin: Daniel Gutierrez, Cosmic Comedy Berlin, Go West Comedy, East-West Comedy,
Vilnius: Moonshine Comedy
Riga: Joshua Perkins
Rotterdam: Christos Sougk, Comedy Club Haug
Barcelona: The Comedy Clubhouse
Utrecht: Rachel Morton-Young
Amsterdam: Kendra Borgen
Maastricht: Fedor Ikelaar
Kaiserslautern (and military shows): Erin Crouch
Luxembourg: Carlitos Comedy Club
Krakow: Kraków Standup Comedy
Paris: La Pomme d'Eve, Coucou Comedy, LAUGH ETC, French Fried Comedy, Mic in Progress, Sarah Donnelly, Don't Tell Comedy
Athens: Athens English Comedy Club
Vaduz: Kreativ Akademie
Salzburg: #NarrenCastl
Brussels: Side Splitters Comedy Brussels, Countdown Comedy Club
Ghent: Amai Comedy Club
If you’re a touring comedian in the EU or someone from the States eyeballing this growing market, try any of the above (and others but the list was getting long). They’re putting on a wide variety of shows so if you’re curious, don’t hesitate to reach out to me with questions.
“Aren’t you worried about the competition?”
No, I’m more worried about making people laugh and helping deliver diverse voices.
The more the merrier!
I would love to shout out every comedian who opened for me, showcased with me or allowed me to guest on their show.
You all fill my soul, inspire me, confuse me sometimes and, ultimately, help us all achieve the goal of getting that almighty chuckle from the audience. I saw some great ones! Got to work with some of the best! And I saw a lot of new potential! Keep doing what you’re doing!! (But PLEASE stop using the phrase “I need to work on my crowd work.”)
To every audience member: Thank you. Thanks to the repeat fans (I’m looking at you Riga, Vilnius and Luxembourg!), the new fans (hopefully…?) and everyone else who thought “let’s reserve a seat and see what this American has to say.” Thank you for showing up and doing your part in this energy exchange.
Continuous thank you hugs and positive thoughts to the friends and friends of friends, old and new. The closest of you, the really close of the close and the chatty acquaintances. I’ve envisioned moving to Europe for quite some time and I thought I had zeroed in on a location, but I get more confused every visit as I have close friends in so many places now. I am blessed. Laughs, tears, gossip, hugs, support, stories, offers, drinks, dinners, drives, hangs, the ups, the downs, you all are my home on the road.
If there’s anywhere new to try, tell me (I see you Thailand, Cambodia and South Africa!)
If any newer comedians ever want to reach out, DM me and I’m happy to offer advice or tell the truth. If I can help your process, I’m there for it.
Any comedians thinking about doing Europe, let me know and I’ll give you the skinny, the contacts and the motivation.
You don’t have to do it like I did…but you should do it!
Til next time…
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American Tourish in Paris

9/4/2023

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The DEFINITIVE tour video of Paris for all of my American friends. Vous êtes les bienvenus!
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SUMMER'S OVER European Standup Comedy Tour Sept/Oct

9/2/2023

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Sept. 20 - Paris - Improvised PowerPoint Show - TICKETS
Sept. 21 - Vienna - Vienna Comedy Club - TICKETS
Sept. 22 - Prague - Metro Comedy Club - TICKETS
Sept. 23 - Prague - Metro Comedy Club - TICKETS
Sept. 24 - Athens - Athens Comedy Club - SOLD OUT!
Sept. 26 - Belgrade - Bitef Art Cafe - TICKETS
Sept. 27 - Tirana - Corner Comedy Club - TICKETS
Sept. 29 - Bratislava - Fjuzn Festival - TICKETS
Sept. 29 - Bratislava - The International Bar - TICKETS
Sept. 30 - Brussels - Side Splitters Comedy Club - TICKETS

Oct. 2 - Vilnius - INFO COMING SOON
Oct. 3 - Talinn - Heldeke! - TICKETS
Oct. 4 - Riga - INFO COMING SOON
Oct. 5 - 7 - Luxembourg - Carlito's Comedy Club - TICKETS
Oct. 8 - Brno - Music Lab - TICKETS
Oct. 9 - Kooks Bar - TICKETS
Oct. 10 - Paris - Jardin Sauvage - TICKETS
Oct. 11 - Paris - French Fried Comedy - TICKETS
Oct. 12 - Hamburg - Lustig Comedy Club - TICKETS
Oct. 13 - Kaiserslautern - Private Military Show
Oct. 14 - Wiesbaden - Private Military Show
Oct. 16 - Berlin - After Church Comedy - TICKETS
​Oct. 17 - Berlin - Slingshot! - TICKETS
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An Amerian Tourish in Paris, France

8/20/2023

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You read that right: "American Tourish."
Since I travel soooo much, I thought I'd give an unfiltered, true-to-my-knowledge American version of the various sites in the various cities I go to. Skip all of the other videos on the web telling you where to go and what to do. THESE will be the primers you NEED!
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(*Also, I'm a comedian. So remember that before you watch this video and think "Is this guy joking?")
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EU Standup Comedy Tour - Sept/Oct

8/20/2023

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As DJ Khaled said: "Another one!"
New EU Tour, new EU tour dates, new EU tour cities.
Ticket links coming soon!!!
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Disneyland Paris v. Disneyland California

3/13/2023

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Ever wonder what the difference is between Disneyland Paris and Disneyland California? I went so you don't have to. Unless you want to. But you really don't have to....
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Holding onto this spinning globe with both hands...

10/17/2022

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​Thank you for your birthday wishes via text, social media and (gasp!) phone calls from those I know well, those I barely know, those that I should know better and those I’ve never met. That kind of positive spread should be the point of mass communication. Well done on taking the steps towards making the world a better place.

I spent my birthday in a most appropriate way if you know me at all: Flying cross-country and heading to a film shoot while writing some new standup comedy material and it dawned on me:
I set out to pursue this life I’m living at the age of 11 when I said “I want to be in entertainment.” And here I am 15 years later (Shut up, it’s my post, I can put whatever number I want!) still living that dream.
Granted, I’m not on the 5th season of an Emmy-nominated series, performing Hamlet on Broadway or in a sequel to an Oscar-nominated Indiana Jones spin-off trilogy. I’m not in the midst of my 4th Netflix special or selling out Red Rocks, picking an outfit for my Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony, accepting another invite to host the Golden Globes or bothered by too many phone calls for gigs willing to overpay me.
But you know what? That’s completely fine. Those are the misses but I have plenty - plenty! - of blessings and successes.
I’ve made numerous unique stories over the years, surrounded myself by people who care and support me more than I ever realized, do work that I genuinely love, am well on my way to visiting every country in the world and revisiting some favorites and generally living on my own terms laughing a lot, still learning and having so much appreciation more often than not.
This past year has been a true roller-coaster, the highest of highs creatively, artistically, internationally and emotionally and the lowest of lows facing multiple losses, heartbreak, hardship and uphill climbs.
But I’m still here. Smiling, Grinding. Hustling. Laughing. Making others laugh. Sharing hugs. And focused on being grounded, positive and unabashedly me.

As the years keep adding up (or counting down, depends on if you’re half-full or half-empty) the synapses keep firing and the life experiences grow. As I do every year, and in a nod to Baz Luhrman’s awesome song, here’s some more bon mots (That’s a French word. I’m moving to Europe. Did I mention that? Then keep in touch) for you to nibble on and hopefully they add to your life experience:

- Travel. And if you do, at least learn the nice phrases “hello,” “please” and “thank you.” Practice them everyday in English as well.
- Dance. Like everyone’s watching. And you don’t give a damn.
- Watch more “Ted Lasso” and less “Dahmer.”
- People aren’t solely defined by their politics. Don’t define yourself solely on your politics.
- Not preparing enough is preparing to fail.
- You may think your life isn’t as good as the ones you see on the internet but the truth is, those lives aren’t as good as they appear.
- You’re doing fine. With respect to those that believe in reincarnation, this is the first time any of us have done this “life” thing. There’s no manual, no right or wrong (for the most part), no real guide. Just do your best.
- Texts are fine but conversations are better.
- You might be wrong. And it’s ok to admit it. And fix it.
- Look up.
- You don’t need to be on a constant search for “the one.” Love yourself first because that’s the only person that you’re guaranteed to wake up with every day of your life.
- Smile randomly.
- If you don’t like it, change the channel.
- If you’re not happy, shake things up.
- If you ever find love, support, care, friendship or common ground, don’t take it for granted and hold onto it as best you can. It’s all too rare to find and easy to lose.
- Ignore assholes. Don’t try to fix them. You won’t.
- Don't be an asshole.
- Farts are funny. Stop denying it.
- Truth does set you free.
- Finally: “Don’t cry. Just giggle and laugh. You should always laugh.” (The last words my Mom ever said to me and the best advice I could ever give)

On a personal note and in reference to the opening: Mental stability and happiness has been hard to come by this year for many of us (myself included). A lot has to do with outside factors. Let’s be honest: It’s been a rough few years sometimes made rougher by bad decisions. Some of it has to do with DNA and clinical depression and anxiety. The highs save you but the lows are brutal and last too long and are debilitating. I was lucky enough to do a play this year that addressed that and one of my favorite quotes from it is: “Things get better. They might not always get brilliant, but they do get better.” It’s true. You are fine. Or you will get better. It might take some work, help and support, so do the work. And when in doubt, reach out.
You’d be surprised at how many people out there care about you, will step up for you and want to see you smile. Be open to it and you can make the most of your time on this spinning globe because, chances are, we only have one go at this thing. Enjoy it.
(And if you’re ever down, and have read this far, never hesitate to reach out to me if everything else fails. I’m not licensed in anything else except having been through the wringer and back again many, many times)

Thank you for the birthday love. I send it back ten-fold. Onward to the next adventure...
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One more time around the sun, with FEELING!

10/27/2021

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​See? Social media can be good! Thank you all so much for the kind birthday wishes and blessings and virtual verbal hugs over the past few weeks.

Frankly, I’m astounded that someone could post anything on social media and have 100% out-pouring of positivity, love, encouragement and funny emojis.

I figured, with the way things seem to be going, that at least 67% of all comments would be some variation of “go eff yourself,” “do your research” or “but what about everybody else who doesn’t have a birthday today?”

The above paragraph isn’t meant to be cynical, it’s just expressing a point: When given a choice, gosh it feels so much better to be nice. I’ve never batted 1.000 but I’m working on it.

At the risk of comments being ass-y again, I’m going to do my annual birthday post of “Things Learned.” I’ve done it every year since I was 21 (I’m 25 now) and it’s just my way of sharing some things I’ve learned, lessons I’ve gleaned, ideas I’ve had or really what I think are good suggestions to make your life better (because I know you all so well). This is the kind of stuff that happens to you when you get older: Introspection.

To wit:

  • Try a new haircut. Those mistakes don’t last but you never know what you might discover.
  • Get your passport. Travel. Safely, but with an open mind.
  • If you don’t like a particular website, stay off that website. If you don’t like a particular TV show, don’t watch that show. If you don’t like a particular person, don’t talk to that person.
  • Binge “Harry Mack Omegle Bars” on YouTube. Trust me.
  • You don’t know everything you think you know.
  • Everybody’s biased. Don’t act shocked.
  • Read more books and less social media feeds.
  • Share your dessert.
  • Taste your food before you put table salt or pepper on it. Give the chef the benefit of the doubt.
  • When you feel the urge to watch the news, re-watch “Ted Lasso” instead.
  • Change your oil every 5000 miles (-ish), not 3000. I know people who still go by the 3000 mile rule. That’s out-dated.
  • Buy vintage or second-hand. The clothes are cooler, it’s sustainable and you’ll appear more interesting (it’s up to you to back that up)
  • Help each other out. I don’t know how, but you do.
  • I swear we’re more alike than different.
  • Hard work pays off every time.
  • Being offended, ashamed or guilty is something you manifest. Don’t put that on someone else doing it to you.
  • If someone needs help from being verbally or physically assaulted, please put down the phone and help. Their well-being is far more important than your YouTube views.
  • Use your turn signal. (I think I post this one every year. It’s not making much of a difference but I will not rest until you all give a crap about letting everyone else on the road know if you’re turning or changing lanes. The previous sentence comes from someone who is slowly morphing into an old man on a front porch).
  • Cancel culture isn’t as powerful as you think it is. You can say anything you want as long as it’s funny, salient, satirical, well-stated and/or backed up. If you don’t like consequences for what you say, don’t say it.
  • Also, don’t say most of what you want to. That moment that you feel the need to speak up will pass.
  • All moments will pass.
  • There are always new moments mere seconds after the last ones.
  • Make the good moments last. Move quickly past the bad ones.
  • Don’t waste your moments. You don’t have that many of them.
  • Support your friend’s art.
  • Book me for whatever you got. I promise it’ll pay off. And I won’t be around forever.

The last point was brought to you by shameless selfish social media promo. It was either that or a nudie and, frankly, my lighting is terrible where I am….

I’m writing this in a cafe in the Montmarte section of Paris. The weather’s cloudy, I don’t really like this city (not sorry), my coffee’s cold and the server’s rude… and I love every bit of right now. That’s called “experiencing life.” Do that, not the other thing you were thinking about doing today.

On a personal and heavy note: I have now lost 2 parents to depression. That’s brutal. And both of them had plenty more life to live, plenty of folks that loved and supported them, and gave up way too soon. I’m not saying this looking for condolences - that’s all been said and appreciated. I’m saying this to let you know that it’s very easy to wind up like them and not realize what it does to those around you. It’s also quite do-able to be the opposite. Sometimes it’s just a choice, sometimes it involves a bit of work, sometimes it involves asking for help when it’s absolutely uncomfortable doing so and sometimes it takes something a little more medically professional. Whatever the case, if mental health has you down, be open about it with those you trust because, despite what you might think, people can be very nice.
Life is short and the world’s small.
Don’t waste time wasting away in your own mind.

And honestly: Thank you for the birthday love. Meant more to me this year than any other.

I’ll go back to posting insipid jokes and self-promotion now.

Thank you for coming to my JOELTalk.
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PHOTO by Reed Davis
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Interview on Vocal.Media about "Empty America"

5/11/2021

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Talking With: Joel Bryant of “Empty America”
by BEA JONES

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Interview with actor-comedian Joel Bryant, who set out on a solo road trip across America during COVID and captured a desolate pictorial landscape.

"Empty America": a documentary film by Joel BryantThis edition of Talking With focuses on actor-comedian Joel Bryant, after unveiling his new documentary film “Empty America,” capturing a desolate look at the country.


When the pandemic shutdown took away his livelihood as a comic and actor, Joel packed his car and hit the highway with his trusted iPhone in tow. He snapped hundreds of photos and shot hours of video during the nomadic-style trip that spanned 8600 miles over three weeks from mid-March to early April, 2020. He traveled coast-to-coast stopping in 17 major cities with iconic locations, including Times Square, Bourbon Street, Venice Beach, Pike Place, Mall of America, Fisherman’s Wharf, Boston Common, DC’s National Mall and the Stockyards of Texas.


An amateur photographer, the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History has acquired 134 of his photographs as part of the permanent COVID-19 Digital Photography Collection.


With the free release of the photos and documentary, Joel hopes to encourage people to donate to the many COVID relief charities.


To learn more, we are Talking With Joel Bryant about “Empty America.”

Santa Monica Pier, California

What inspired you to set out on this journey to photograph America during the pandemic shutdown?


JOEL BRYANT: As a freelance performer in live events who was also housed gig-to-gig, when the shutdown occurred, I was jobless and homeless with 2 days. And nothing on the calendar for the foreseeable future. I love a good road trip so I thought I'd just drive Los Angeles to New York and back. I had the time and nowhere to be. As I started to map out my route, I realized I'd be going through Las Vegas, Santa Fe, maybe see a friend in Savannah. I was thinking about this while killing an afternoon in Santa Monica. I realized how empty this city was and I'd seen videos of Las Vegas shutdown so the plan started from there: Drive LA to NY but hit usually-busy sites around America on the way to capture what the US looks like when it's totally closed.


Did you have an initial plan to create the documentary film “Empty America”?


JB: I had absolutely no plan when I started out. I had an idea of a southern route but made up most of the journey as I went, depending on where I could go, what was efficient, if I had a place to stay - which started to be in my car and cheap roadside motels. I decided on certain cities as I went. I decided to film it for posterity thinking it could be an interesting piece. It's only when I plugged all my footage into iMovie that I realized I had enough for a full-length documentary. But it all started from the one question: "I wonder what America looks like when it shuts down?" The rest just happened.


How did you determine which cities to visit?


JB: I thought about what might be interesting to see how they looked if they were totally empty. Truth is, I didn't know what I'd find or even if everything was as empty as I captured. When you think about cities that may be eerie to see empty, some were no-brainers: Las Vegas, New Orleans, New York. I did LA just because that's where my stuff was in storage. Las Vegas and Santa Fe is where I had family. I chose Savannah and Nashville because I had friends there I hadn't seen in a while. As I drove it just manifested depending on where I was headed next in my loop. I also knew I was on a bit of a time schedule because I didn't know if borders would be shut down and how long this shutdown would last, so I had to rule out cities like Austin, Miami and Kansas City.

Times Square, New York

Did you have it all planned out before you left? Things like your gas and meal budget, lodging arrangements, etc.


JB: I had nothing planned out! For the record, that's not suggested. It was an idea I had one afternoon and set out the next day to start it. I'm a road-tripped by nature, so I wasn't worried about how to live on the road for 3 weeks. But I truly just made all of it up as I went. I let the story unfold itself. Luckily, prices for things like gas, food and lodging are really cheap during a pandemic. My only rule was I had to eat locally to support any local vendors that might still be doing some sort of curbside service, so I avoided fast food places and chain stores.


Was there a moment when you thought: what am I doing?


JB: Most of it, to be honest. Even in the film I start off bouncy and light-hearted in LA like: "This is going to be a fun piece." By the time I hit the northern route I was exhausted and affected by what I'd seen. I'd say when I did DC, Philadelphia and New York in one day, that was when I really started to teeter on regret. But I had already come that far. I started to sleep less, be paranoid about law enforcement stopping me and being nervous that this was all pointless because I didn't think I'd make it all the way back to San Francisco for the full loop.

Fisherman's Wharf, California

Your favorite moment from the trip?


JB: The thing that kept me going and gave me hope was the random bits of optimism I encountered on the road. This was a moment when we thought the pandemic would last 3 maybe 4 weeks, so there was hope. I met a restauranteur in Fort Worth - socially distanced, of course - who told me how 5-star restaurants were selling out then referring their customers to smaller locally owned businesses and how he hoped selling his raw items would bond families over dinnertime as they all could cook together. Every time I saw a sign in a window that expressed hope, it always gave me a smile. Truth is, most of the trip became eerie and sad, I wouldn't call those "favorite" moments but definitely glad I captured them, so those little bits of storefront optimism on signs gave me a little juice.


What did you personally learn from this journey?


JB: I've always carried Buddhist philosophy close to my chest and this just enhanced that. Mostly the idea that tomorrow is not guaranteed and all you have is this moment. I'm happy I did this the way I did it, spur of the moment because I was curious, but on a larger scale and looking back, that lesson definitely rings true: We had no idea what we were in for so there's no reason to live in the future when you have the now to make the most of.



Nashville, Tennessee



You aren’t a professional photographer, but your photos are now part of the Smithsonian – what’s that feel like?


JB: I'm still trying to wrap my head around it! It was certainly nothing I'd aimed for or dreamt of. Especially because this was just a curiosity project done on a whim and shot on an iPhone. I'm not a pro photographer by any means, but to be in the Smithsonian archives with such legends is humbling to say the least. The Smithsonian accumulated 600 photographs from various photographers capturing the pandemic at that time and of the 600, 134 of them were mine. To me, that's insane and frankly I'm not sure what to think about it! The best I can say is that I'm proud because I perform mostly in live events which are fleeting moments which exist in a moment in time. To have your photos archived is about as good of a legacy as you can leave behind when all is said and done.


Any plans to get back out there on the road again or what’s next for you?


JB: Oh, I'm always looking for the next road trip.... I still bounced around the rest of the year, helping with family stuff, seeing people in Europe, renting a cabin in Colorado for a few months. As long as you can live safely, you can still live the way you want to live. I did finally end up getting a small place in Palm Springs to plan out the next phase of my life and let this pandemic ease towards re-opening. Then when that happens? Well, we'll just have to see what's next....



New Orleans, LouisianaLastly, what do you hope audiences will take away from “Empty America”?


JB: I only had 2 goals when I finally put it all together and put it out free on YouTube: Firstly, I thought it was an interesting time capsule that happened to capture a unique moment in history. This was when all of the US was on the same page, pre-BLM protests, pre-election, pre- the rest of 2020. It was a time when most of America was on the same page which, sadly, we rarely are anymore. So, I want people to watch it just as a reminder that we call can be united and to hopefully do what's necessary to avoid the eeriness I captured on film when the next global catastrophe hits. However, more importantly to me, I posted it for free and at the end I have links to 5 COVID relief charities so ideally, if you're moved enough when you watch the film, and you're able to, you can help out those less fortunate and we can all work together to pull each other up out of this and on to a brighter future. We've been through so much negativity, hopefully by showing that then offering a glimmer of hope, we can get back on a path towards positivity.


Those 5 charities are LiveEventsCoalition.org, ActorsFund.org, FoundationForContemporaryArts.org, OpportunityFund.org and JamesBeard.org.


Or just donate to one of your choice, help out a neighbor or support small local business. If you do that after watching my piece, my goal is met.




Watch “Empty America” for FREE at: JoelBryant.net or on YouTube


And, check out the COVID-19 Digital Photography Collection


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EMPTY AMERICA - the full-length documentary

3/7/2021

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When coronavirus made it's way through America last year and became an official "pandemic" causing a full, nation-wide shutdown, I was left out in the cold. I was rehearsing a play, then traveling to do another, then some corporate gigs and standup dates throughout the summer. As well, I was living on the road, gig-to-gig. My gigs were my housing. Covid swept in and emptied my calendar, took away my housing and left me reeling. 
But it didn't kill my creativity, curiosity and wanderlust. I wondered what America looked like shut down. Since I was forced into my car, I set out to document it. In 3 weeks I drove to 17 major cities (and a bunch of small ones) and logged 8600 miles and tons of footage. The still photos have already officially been installed into the Smithsonian archives as a time stamp of a unique, unprecedented happening. The filmed footage, along with some of those photographs, I've turned into the documentary "Empty America." 
I didn't do this to exploit what ended up being a tragic year for the US. Instead, I'm posting it as a reminder, as a time capsule, and hopefully as a call-to-arms to help out Covid relief charities. As such, I've posted it free on YouTube with the websites for said charities listed in the credits.
I hope you find it interesting at the very least. At the very most, I hope it helps all of us help each other out and finally get back to whatever "normal" may be now.

Thanks for watching and sharing.

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L.A. MACABRE (season 2) now streaming on Amazon Prime!

12/3/2020

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The above really says it all:
"L.A. Macabre" Season 2 is now streaming on Amazon Prime. I'm excited for a number of reasons:
- I loved Season 1 (which I'm not in, but now I'm part of the universe)
- My character is introduced in season 2 and it's truly one of my favorite characters I've ever had the pleasure of playing.
- The show wrapped about 2 years ago so FINALLY it's out!
- It's a shoestring budget, labor-of-love show that took creativity, heart and passion to finish over the course of 2 1/2 years. It's worth seeing just to honor a vision and support the arts.
- Um, well, having watched it in it's entirety I can say this: It kicks ass! Well told, well shot, intriguing, definitely binge-able.

Watch it yourself! Tell your friends! Leave a review! Thanks for the support!!

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Yet Another Trip Around the Sun... Hopefully Not the Last

11/3/2020

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This "Thank you for the Birthday Wishes" and "Birthday Thoughts" post is way late. Like really late. Weeks. But in 2020, what is time anymore, really?

Or maybe it just took me a while to formulate it. There has been other important stuff going on (did you know I learned how to sew and am teaching myself French? See? Important stuff!).

However, I've decided to send it up to social media today because it seems like a really, really slow news day so certainly you have plenty of time to read it. It's long...

First and foremost, thank you to every single one of you that wished me "Happy Birthday" whether via social media post, text, phone call, email or in person. That's always nice to hear. We could definitely do with getting rid of Facebook, but then every year the birthday reminder function kind of justifies the other 364 days of anger, negativity and hatred.

For the uninitiated: Every year on my Birthday I rattle off some "life lessons" that I've reflected on and attempted to instill in my life due my my years and years and years and years of experience on this earth. They're fun to post, represent some kind of positive aspect of life and were inspired by Baz Luhrman's fantastic "Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen)."

This year may be different though. Many times in the past I've advocated traveling more, hugging loved ones harder and seeing as much live music as you can. I still pat myself on the back for good advice like that in the past but if I posted that now I'm afraid I'd start a political debate and be requested to "cite my sources." 

So this one may be a bit more blustery. Less confined. Perhaps longer. Frankly, I'm just avoiding turning on the TV...

<Pours a sliver of whiskey into his coffee> Here goes:

- Travel more. OK, I lied. I will advocate this. Yes, it's scary and difficult and dang near impossible to do freely, but dammit if it doesn't open your perspective, you mind, your heart and your eyes. It really is the best thing to do outside of 12 years of solid schooling.

- Know this: Any media (ANY) is there to make money. That's how they stay afloat. If they don't have audience and eyeballs, they no longer exist. Keep this in mind when consuming, recommending or passing on any media. OK, I'm talking about news. Look, there are legitimate unbiased news journalists out there working on TV, in print and at your local bar, but even they have to maintain viewership to maintain relevance. We're in the age of  the "news celebrity." We choose who we want to watch and they get rewarded with eyeballs and ad dollars. They have to make you want to watch so they will cater to their audience and to their emotions.
Way back when, Walter Kronkite was the most trusted man in media. Well, he didn't have a hell of a lot of competition. There were 3 channels and you either watched the "news" or probably some spaghetti Western or game show on the other 2 channels. His job was news.
Then 24-hour news happened and there was a scramble for viewers. Then the internet happened and there was a scramble by print media to get online views. Then social media happened and there was a scramble by bloggers, websites and "influencers" to get likes and views.
It all adds up to money.
And that money comes from views. 
And we view this stuff because it makes us feel something (either hate watching or cohabitating in an echo chamber).
Nobody's watching, reacting to and sharing moderate news. It's the train wrecks and OMG's that get the mentions. And the cash.
I'm sure everybody knows this... Just keep it in mind and treat it as such.

- I think this one is an epilogue to the above: We all just want to feel. Especially this year. It's human nature. In years past, we could go to a movie or hang out with friends or seek community for those good vibes to escape the bad ones. This year, we can't do that. It's unfortunate because this year we've all become a bit shell-shocked and numb. We want to feel more than ever. 
In relation to the above, no one's really broadcasting the good vibes news of the day, so we don't get our dose of that. 
But we still want to "feel" so we glom onto any "feelings" we can get. Anger, sadness and fear are next in line and those are so easy to broadcast and default to; and we're doing it in droves.
So I guess the advice here: Seek out the positive, the heart-warming, the funny, the insipid, the bland. Anything but anger, sadness and fear (trust me, they'll always be there)

- OK, now we're really on a piggy-backing roll.... Let's relax on worrying about what the "deep state" is doing or how shadow forces are controlling our every move or trying to figure out what the endgame is of people far more powerful, rich and connected than you or I. Trust me, you'll never figure it out and you'll never break it. They're far too powerful, rich and connected. I wish we could, but they're experience in masking far outweighs our amateur online gumshoeing. And here's the honest truth: It doesn't affect your life. It won't change how you hang out with your family, drink a hot cup of tea or swim a few laps in your pool. It really just has no affect on your day-to-day life. And trying to figure it out only leads to fear, frustration and melancholy. Live your life, not theirs.

- Dance. (That's always an easy one to put on here)

- Through my years I'm proud to have gathered a solid group of friends from very random facets of life, all differing in many ways - gender, religion, sexuality, politics, social issues, height, weight, star signs. I'm humbled by it and they all fascinate me in one way or another every day and challenge me about who I am because that's who they are.
No one is one single "thing." Your gay friend is not just a gay friend, they're more than that. You're libertarian friend is not just libertarian, they're more than that. Your tall friend is really tall, but also more than that. (Ideally they'd be helpful too since they can reach the high shelves). We all are.
(Caveat: UNLESS someone identifies themselves so singularly as one thing [OK, I'm mostly thinking politics here...]. If they do, then they ask to be judged as that one thing and that's their prerogative and their hill to live and die on.)
It's my experience that the majority of people are asking to be judged as a whole and not on one specific thing. You cannot easily identify anyone - outside of what they choose to wear sometimes, but even that could be a shot in the dark. That's what's fun about being human with feelings and free will and different upbringings. (as opposed to, say, koala bears who we can say are super cute but also can be vicious. And that's ALL koala bears).

OK. This is about politics, mostly (what can I say, it's Nov. 3). I have friends squarely on both sides of the aisle who are not ashamed to say who they support. Some are more ardent than others. However, that's not all they are. Yes, there are some that have become ONLY about that, in which case I find them boring and one-sided. But the vast majority of people are layered and, if you connect with any of that, you can still be friends who can have interesting conversations and intense debates and agree to disagree. If they're your friends, you should be able to. If you find them wrong on something, you should be able to say something and have an educated discourse. Some people are more passionate about things that you aren't, in which case, we should all be better about when and where we choose our battles and if it's even worth it. Yes, friends can also be frustrating and irritating and you can cut them in and out of your life. If we were simple beings we wouldn't have done things like invented airplanes and had and followed dreams and thought fruit on pizza was a good idea and loved and hurt. It's your call who you want to engage with, be around and entrust. Choose wisely. If you choose wrong, adjust.

- Since it's Nov. 3 - vote. I never say who I'm voting for because I still believe that's a private act. DM or PM me if you wanna chat about it or if it really interests you. If you know me well enough, then you've already read this far and probably know how my ballot will roll out. But you'd also probably be surprised....

- Last one which piggybacks on top of all of my other AMAZING insight from above: Be who you are, believe what you want to believe, experience your life experience but, if you do anything or choose any path or make any choices in life, just don't be an asshole.
Really, that's it: Don't be an asshole.
I'm keen to let everything else slide if you're nice and kind, maintain empathy and are accepting. If you're an asshole, then you're doing life wrong and you need to re-evaluate the miracle of you being here, the relationships you maintain and why you're wrong. (Trust me, I've been an asshole before and learned from it. And am still learning. It's hard sometimes to be right all the freakin' time! Nobody ever is)

You can 100% be you and follow your path.
Racism, sexism, homophobia, religious intolerance and ignorance are inalienable wrongs and I'll stand by that (you should too...geez!)

But whatever you do:

Don't be an asshole.
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POSITIVE MESSAGE MAY

8/9/2020

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During the month of May, to counteract the negativity of a global pandemic and the constant ensuing coverage, I decided to make a video a day to spread some positivity and smiles. Below are those videos (also found at YouTube.com/JoelBryantVideos).

i made them in May 2020, but truthfully they’re good year-round. The gift that’ll keep on giving....
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EMPTY AMERICA: Photo Dump

4/12/2020

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Here are a bunch of other pix I took while traveling the US over the past 3 weeks.
For the full story, read the blog entries below (hit previous at the bottom of the page)
Chronologically it goes LA - > SanFran, but you could also read it backwards.
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The EMPTY AMERICA Project

4/11/2020

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I did a thing....


When the global pandemic touched down on our shores (well, when we started to do something about it) I was in the middle of rehearsing a play. Then after that I was to fly to NY to start another play. There were also a few standup comedy shows and corporate gigs sprinkled in there.


Then: Shutdown. My calendar was suddenly empty for the next 4 months.


To make matters worse, I’d been living on the road, gig to gig, for the last year and a half. So there goes the housing as well.


So when you’ve been living on the road and they tell you to “shelter in place” and “stay home,” the road becomes your official home.


But I couldn’t not be creative.


I thought: What is fascinating about this unprecedented time? What would be of interest to those stuck inside?


I decided to document with pictures and video how some of the busiest, most populated areas of America look when the country is locked down.


I didn’t have much of a plan except to go and do it. I had a few cities in mind. No real agenda.


Wait. Not totally true. I did have a SAFETY PLAN. Let me just outline that before you get itchy trigger fingers.


I was in my car alone 90% of the time. I had plenty of hand sanitizer, wet wipes and masks. When I stopped for gas, I used a wipe to handle the pump and push the buttons. If I went inside for a snack or coffee (which was rare) I’d wash before-hand, make my purchase, then wash before I left. Most meals I ate in my car from groceries. If I did want something else, I’d get curbside and always local (with a nice tip) and wash before and after handling that. Most times I’d get enough food to cover 2 days worth of meals just to limit engagement. I rarely saw anybody (hence “Empty America”) and if I did have a conversation, it was from 6 feet away. The trip lasted 3 weeks. I’d estimate I engaged with 25 people total. About half of a CostCo run, I imagine.


I don’t know what I was setting out to find except to share an interesting aspect of this pandemic with whoever’s read this far.


Of course, I’m still processing. It was over 8600 miles, 17 major American cities (and a bunch of small ones), too much coffee to count and 3 weeks on the dot. It’s a lot.


For you, maybe you get something deep out of it. Maybe you’d scroll through and go “Hunh.” Maybe it’s just a distraction or an additional stress. Maybe you do none of that.


That’s ok. Art is meant to be made and shared. It’s up to you how you receive it.


I may turn all of my shots and videos into a mini-documentary at some point. Hopefully then I’ll have something deeper to glean from this journey as I’m still getting used to this new world and and not being on the road.


Until then, enjoy the trip....
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EMPTY AMERICA: San Francisco

4/11/2020

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Finally. My last stop on this circular trip around the US. San Francisco.


I have friends here who have been warning me against visiting. Telling me that they’re ticketing people for even being outside, for not wearing face masks, sending people home, citing them $1000 if they’re breaking the rules. 


I was trepidatious about making my way into the city.


I’ll say this: Somebody should tell all of that to the people hanging out at Golden Gate Park. And at the Palace of the Performing Arts. It was a beautiful day in San Francisco and the locals were enjoying it.


I didn’t see any cops. No martial law. Heck, I barely saw face masks and gloves!


I see people responsibly enjoying being outside. Social distancing. Keeping to themselves. Not touching things. 


Now I had arrived here after California was touted as having a great record at steadying the pace of the virus. Maybe this was just a reaction to that. Maybe it was an over-reaction and the numbers will rocket up again because everybody’s getting cocky. Hopefully not. Hopefully this is the light at the end of an ever-longer tunnel.


However, if you wanted to hang out with the locals, go to where the locals hang out and you’ll see plenty of them.


Which is not to say that there still isn’t sadness, emptiness, areas that are still in a vacuum. I headed to Fisherman’s Wharf (If you want pictures of a busy Golden Gate Park, Google ‘em!). I knew this area had to still be shut down and it was.


However, and this is true for all cities, if you ever thought construction was non-essential, apparently you would be wrong. There isn’t a shop or restaurant open on Fisherman’s Wharf, but man there’s a ton of construction.


This was true in every city I went to and on every highway. Apparently construction and home improvement stores are...essential?


If the virus remains relevant for much longer, I’d have to point one of my fingers towards this industry. Instead of shutting down operations, it seems that construction companies and road crews and do-it-yourselfers are taking this opportunity of low crowds and no traffic to finish their jobs. I would love to say that’s clever thinking if I didn’t think it was so damn greedy.


Why do they get to continue working when no one else does? Because it’s convenient? And how come I never saw one construction worker wearing a face mask? And they’re more than ok to be more than 5 or 10 to a group. Truthfully, I don’t know who to blame here.


I think it’s great there are people who are able to work at this time. I think that’s necessary and I’m happy for them. 


However, wouldn’t it be on the folks who run the construction companies to shut down their operations as well so they don’t put their employees at risk?


The new SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles will soon be the home to the Rams and the Chargers. They continued building throughout this crisis because, well, money (let’s not kid ourselves). 2 weeks ago, someone tested positive for coronavirus. They had to shut down the whole operation.


This isn’t a political rant, just an observation. Where’s the line drawn at “essential?”


Well, this is America, and money does talk. I just wish it all spoke the same language....


OK, I’m off my soap-box.


San Francisco was the last stop on my journey. I got a motel outside of the city to process my thoughts. (By the way, motels are now hovering around $40/night if anybody’s inclined).


I’ll wrap this up in another post I’m sure. Or maybe not. I did my journey. I hope you do yours. 


And I hope what I did is, at the very least, interesting. Because there’s nothing worse than being uninteresting.


Stay Safe.
4 Comments

EMPTY AMERICA: Portland

4/8/2020

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We are now almost a month into the virus really hitting our shores and well past the calls for “shelter in place” and “stay home” mandates nationwide (well, mostly nationwide). People are getting used to the new normal, realizing they can go outside, just adjust your behaviors and be safe.  At the start of this trip, the emptiness was painful and new. As I make my way to the West Coast there seems to be a comfort setting in with “Hey, this is just what it is. Adjust accordingly.” 


Enter: Portland.


Portland is always an outside city. It’s bikes and trees and hiking and mountains and air. It still is.


Sure, the number of people walking around downtown are thinned. And sure there are no big groups of people, which probably makes it seem like more people are out because everybody hanging out so far apart. And absolutely there are gloves and face masks on about half of the city. And, sadly, Voodoo Donuts is still closed.


However, Portland almost seems...vibrant? That’s not quite the word, but it doesn’t seem dead (a horrible word choice as well). The parks appeared quite full. The riverside looked like a normal weekend afternoon. The Grotto was closed, but the Rose Garden and surrounding park, despite the warning signs posted into the grass, seemed very casual as dog-walkers and couples ambled about. 


I almost got his by a group of bikers making their way down Burnside!


The virus and the shutting down of the country is most likely far from over, but there was a sense here that we’d been through the worst of it. Portland was getting outside, inching back towards normalcy. 


I kept thinking as I drove how the PTSD of this whole crisis will affect social behaviors. How, after months of shelter-in-placing, folks might just be reluctant to go outside, hang out in groups, shake hands and hug, be “normal” for all intents and purposes. Portland made me think that, ya, it could go back to the way it was. Slowly, sure, but they seemed to be doing well with it. There wasn’t a paranoia in the air. Or fear. Or desperation.


There was sunshine and a cool breeze.


It’ll take a while to get everything back to the way it was but, make fun of Portland’s crunchiness all you want, they do know how to be outside. There’s a lesson here.
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EMPTY AMERICA: Seattle

4/8/2020

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(Quick note to any road trip fans out there: Drive Montana. Stunning)


Seattle was one of the first and hardest hit at the outbreak of the coronavirus. It caught on in a nursing home and swept through there pushing their statistics higher quicker than any other American cities.


What I felt when I got to Seattle was that people were just used to it by now. They’d been self-isolating and have dealt with the fear and paranoia and uncertainty already. The city was open and humming, but there were definitely more folks out on the streets, a lot without face masks, talking on their phones, having conversations, and generally going about their lives like maybe they’d gotten past the worst of it.


There were still plenty of shut down businesses, social distancing, a police presence, all of the things I’d gotten used to. There just seemed to be an air of “we’ve been through it, and we’re just making this new normal work for us.”


The majority of the Pike Place Market was empty. No one slinging fish. However, there were a few farmer’s markets hawking a full inventory. There was a line outside of the first Starbucks, each person taking turns to go inside so as not to crowd the store. I met a photographer who was doing the same thing I was. He told me he’d already quarantined for 20 days so he felt safe to go outside.


That was the general feel. It was ok to be outside. The fear had subsided and transformed into caution. When a pendulum swings wildly both ways, it eventually settles into the middle. That’s where Seattle was.


Don’t get me wrong: It still had all the ear-marks of the toll the virus had taken across America. No traffic, definitely less people than would be normal, “closed” signs. However, in the busiest parts of downtown, this was the first time I’d noticed that homeless people were actually out-numbered by those that weren’t homeless. It’s probably a sad statement to make that something like this was so obvious, but sociologically that became my barometer for how a city was coping and recovering. When the formerly unseen become the majority, then fade back into obscurity again, that’s when you know a metropolis is recovering. This might not have any basis in statistics, but it was just an observation.


Another indication that Seattle was still swinging: As most city’s plywood-covered windows seemed freshly hung, there were a number of boarded up windows around Pioneer Square that had turned their plywood into art. A spray-painted was creating one such work of art as the shop owners looked on. On either side of him, the window-coverings had already been gussied up. It was a beautiful moment. Sure, there was some basic graffiti tags and one window (Hilariously? Sadly?) said “Where’s Bezos?” But for the most part, Seattle was making a go of it, turning pain into painting, devastation into a gallery, creativity was rising above the tragedy. I’ve always been an advocate for the arts, and this is why: In even our worst times, artists will always be there to shed a light, give a smile or, at the very least, distract us from the distraught.
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EMPTY AMERICA: Minneapolis

4/8/2020

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Minneapolis/St. Paul is on the way to Seattle, another goal. Also, Chicago to Seattle is a drrrriiive.  A lot of North Dakota and Montana. A lot.


Minneapolis was a nice stopover. It’s a beautiful city. Moreover, it’s the home of the Mall of America, the largest mall in all of North America. Probably the world, but I’ll let Google answer that for you. I had to see the mall empty.


It’s hard to capture the feeling of an empty mall on camera. It’s all indoors and out of sight. The outside is just a facade as everybody knows the true mall joy is in the food court and amusement park rides and whatever other excess lies inside America’s Biggest Mall. I went there once, for a minute, and said “Yep. It’s a Mall. But really big.”


The shock here was the wide open parking lot on it’s north end. The rest of the mall is parking garages and it’s own Metro stop, but to see vast, unfilled parking spots stretching for acres leading up to the main entrance let me know that, yes, the virus had even halted the epitome of American consumerism.


Sure, this is a tourist spot and a go-to if you’re visiting the Twin Cities, but how many people forced indoors and into online shopping habits are going to carry that over to their day-to-day lives when this is all over? It’s convenient, everybody’s gotten or getting used to it, and it sure beats hustling for parking spaces and jockeying for sales racks on a weekend. Are we officially going to see the full-time shift to online shopping? Will malls become (if they haven’t already) empty husks signaling a time when a “day at the mall” was a signal of a lazy Sunday, a busy holiday season or just a cool teenage hang? What brick and mortar shopping experiences will survive?


The downtown of Minneapolis was just as empty. The gorgeous, sun-dappled lakes with their walkways and open, crisp air were actually quite busy. It felt like cabin fever might be taking hold and people are saying “forget the fear, I need some fresh air.”


Minneapolis has plenty of it. Probably, like most cities, moreso now.
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EMPTY AMERICA: Chicago

4/8/2020

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I wanted to get in and out of downtown Chicago before dark. On it’s best of days, it can still be a source of consternation and crime. Don’t get me wrong, I love the city. I just don’t want to see it pushed to it’s limits and I don’t want to be in the middle of it. 


I pulled into downtown to park and the desperation was already apparent. Panhandlers were plentiful and I, as one of only a few non-panhandlers, felt like a target. How do you beg for money and food when there’s no one around to give you money or food? I wasn’t so much afraid as I felt guilty.


The Bean is the giant reflective work of art that’s a highlight of Millennium Park in the Loop of Chicago. I’ve never seen it when it wasn’t surrounded by hopeful Instagrammers. I had to see it unobstructed. And it was.


Well, it was unobstructed by photographers. Instead, it was obstructed by fencing. Iron crowd control fencing and “Covid-19” signs circled the whole park. Los Angeles had dealt with park over-crowding by saying the parks were closed. Chicago literally closed it.


Grant Park was wide open but wide empty. The Riverwalk not only had all of it’s riverside cafes and bars shut down, but there were no boats to be seen, all sheltered in water garages and docks, covered up, collecting dew. Security patrolled the Riverwalk. Again, Chicago fencing prevented one from even descending the steps to take a stroll.


This is one of the busiest cities I’ve ever been in, day or night. Now it was quiet. It would lull you into silent awe then rattle you awake when the mostly empty L train would bang over-head.


Along Magnificent Mile, the shopping hub of downtown Chicago, I saw for the first time boarded up stores by the dozens. Nothing was open. Furthermore, it was boarded up, which only added to the sense of fear that “desperate times” might bring. The whole of Michigan Ave. looked like they were preparing for the worst. You really get a gut-punch when you see the Disney Store, the “Happiest Store on Earth,” encased in speedily drilled in plywood.


Around the corner from Magnificent Mile is one of Chicago’s busiest hospitals. I didn’t see any ambulances rushing in or out today, but the street parking was blocked off prepping for a heavy work-load and clearing the area in anticipation of the worst of the emergencies.


Chicago was recently deemed a coronavirus “hot spot” and they were prepping for it.


I grabbed a Gino’s East deep-dish to go (where you would order, then leave, then they would set the pizza down on a table, retreat to the back, and you would grab the pizza off the table so everyone remained at least 6 feet apart) and headed out of the city. I took Clark St up by Wiener Circle, the liveliest, rowdiest hot dog stand you will ever see, and marveled how this party drinking area had relegated the drinkers to being home-drunks.


I settled in Kenosha just north of the city.


I got a text from a friend in Chicago. “Good thing you didn’t stay. They officially just locked down the city.”


I felt I was racing against time and the virus. Not sure where the finish line was.
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EMPTY AMERICA: Cleveland

4/8/2020

2 Comments

 
There were 5 cities I definitely set out to document and experience on this journey: New Orleans, New York, Chicago and San Francisco. As I began the drive, more of the “story” started to morph in my head. The joy of not pre-planning is that sometimes when you make it up as you go, the journey shapes itself.


On the way from Boston to Chicago I realized that Cleveland is just a quick jump north from the intended path. Why not see what the virus had done there? Had it cleaned out downtown? My bigger question: Had the pandemic stopped the music of America?


I decided to see how the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame and surrounding areas were faring.


I’ve been to the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame before. Say what you want about their selection process and what’s considered “rock” all you want, it is still a wonderful encapsulation of the evolution of music through the past 100 years. Yes, at it’s very worst, it’s basically a giant Hard Rock Cafe with less food and more exhibits, but, hey, it’s the only one we got and, if you don’t like it, build your own (my main retort against complainers of any kind).


I pulled into Cleveland and found ample parking downtown. Of course.


To be fair, this was the weekend, so maybe it’s always like this. 


The HoF was indeed unattended. Quiet. Perched like a statue on the shore of Lake Eerie with the ironic sign out from “Long Live Rock.” Not if this virus has anything to say about it.


That building next to the football stadium had an ominous sense of what was, maybe what will be again. I suppose it’s fitting that they are both bordered by Lake Eerie, the Patron Saint of Everything I’ve Experienced.


The rest of downtown was just as empty. Public parks: desolate. Traffic: non-existent. A church sign read: “Closed Until Further Notice. Join us for our Live Stream.”


This virus is powerful! It not only shut down popular music but pushed religion into modern-day technology.
2 Comments

EMPTY AMERICA: Boston

4/8/2020

1 Comment

 
I slept in my car in a truck stop about 90 minutes outside of New York. The rain was pouring which oddly enough lulled me to sleep.


When I woke I continued to Boston, and 2 things happened on the way:


First of all, there was a fair amount of traffic. And rain. I was in the far left lane passing a big rig when I saw a car heading right for me, ready to t-bone me from the other side of the freeway! There was a concrete barrier between the north and south-bound lanes, which stopped this car in it’s tracks and sent it spinning back into traffic.


I’ve been driving for years in some of the most congested, dangerous driving conditions, but I have never seen a wreck actually happen. I’ve come across one right as it was finishing or had just finished, but, to pile on the nerves that I had gotten from New York and the lack of comfortable sleep already in me, to see a car barreling towards you, to see the eyes of that driver wide with fear and angst, woke me up and tightened my grip on the wheel. It was all too real and, metaphorically, the world was spinning out of control.


The other thing that happened drove home a political point for me. Crossing through Rhode Island, they were actually funneling all passenger vehicles off of the freeway and through the first rest stop in the state, just past the border. You couldn’t pass it because the police presence would have you do otherwise.


Pulling up the ramp to the rest area, it felt like entering the movie set for “Outbreak.” There was cops and military personal and a few Humvees and personnel in full rain gear and masks and gloves. It felt like entering a legitimate quarantine zone.


There were signs warning travelers that if you’re coming from NY, NJ or Conn, you must quarantine for 14 days if you’re stopping in Rhode Island.


I pulled over and was asked if I’m staying in the state.


“Just driving through.”


“OK. You can go.”


I slowly drove off but realized that each state, with the federal government’s response, is truly being left to their own devices. This was the only stop I had encountered and Rhode Island was forced to take it upon themselves to do their own screenings.


Certainly a state as small as Rhode Island is probably easier to lock down, but it shouldn’t be any states individual job to respond to a national crisis.


I’m not sure what would have happened if I was saying I was staying. Would they put me in their own state-mandated quarantine? Tested me on the spot? Interrogated me? Was it going to be like this at every state border from here on out?


In Boston I went to the Commons and the Waterfront, 2 areas that, in the past, I’d known to be hubs. I’d like to think that the rain had just kept this city quiet on this day, but I knew that Bostonians didn’t give a flip about that. If you want to go somewhere, you go. Weather is only debilitating if you can’t leave your house.


The Commons and surrounding streets were ghost towns. This is a huge park in the center of the Boston business and tourist district and there wasn’t a soul to be seen, not even the ever-present homeless population I had gotten used to.


The Waterfront was the same: Nothing. It was dreary, sure, but Boston had quickly gotten on the short-list of the hardest hit of the pandemic areas and I was sure everybody was holing up in their cozy apartments and homes in the suburbs.


To be able to walk through a huge city, cross roads or stand in the middle of streets to take pictures, really drives home the feeling that this is what a post-apocalyptic world would be like. No one to talk to, no one getting in your shots, no one telling you where to go and what to do. I would love to say, in this birthplace of freedom and revolution, that it does feel exactly that: Free.


It doesn’t. I thought to myself that this is the place where America started. Is this where it ends?
1 Comment

EMPTY AMERICA: New York

4/8/2020

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New York officially ranks in my top 3 of must eerie places to visit. I was dreading going in and thought “Ok, I’ll pop in, mostly stay in my car, and just zip in and out.” I was scared to hit one of my favorite cities in the whole world. This was at the zenith of its woes (at least as of this writing).


Driving into it from Jersey the city did look beautiful. The skyline was lit up, every building aglow. It made sense. Everyday was in their homes just as it had gotten dark. The self-quarantine was real.


The city was, and pardon the expression, dead. I knew this going in because the Lincoln Tunnel was 100% traffic free. I could’ve sped or gone at a snail’s pace without fear of retribution from other drivers. It’s a stunning tunnel to speed through.


When I got into the city I was gobsmacked at the lack of traffic, the missing taxis and Ubers. The only cars out, for the most part, were police and emergency response vehicles, either cruising around or parked throughout the city. I felt wrong being there.


I parked in Hell’s Kitchen on the border of Times Square. I had to see Times Square.


This is where I paused, scared. For the first time on this trip I didn’t want to get out of my car. I don’t know if it was the news that had scared me or maybe because I felt disrespectful being there, but I had to psych myself up to get out of my car. I had imagined that the virus was like the mist from the Stephen King novel. As if, as soon as I got out of my car and took a breath, the air would be thick with coronavirus. I truly felt like I was in the belly of the beast, in the thick of the outbreak.


I sat there for while and marveled at the lack of people. New York is crowded, even on the latest of nights in the middle of the week. There was nobody. Not a soul around me.


There were cars though. Tons of cars. All parked on the streets. I don’t know if parking fines had been lifted (as was the case in Los Angeles) but there was nowhere for anybody to go so the curbsides were packed with vehicles. It’s almost as if the normal populace had been turned into cars and placed there. Tons of cars, not a person to be seen.


I got ready, bundled up as it was cold, put on my face mask, doused exposed areas in hand sanitizer and made my way a few blocks over to Times Square.


By this point, we have all seen the pictures. It’s empty. Shut down. All stores were closed but yet all lights still on. There was some security presence and the regular handful of homeless people, but nothing else. Gates were up, chains were placed around anything that could be moved. No need to wait for traffic signals (which is usual in New York, but now you didn’t even have to look for cars).


Times Square, this beacon of energy and centerpiece of the most crowded city in the world was quiet. You could hear someone talking from a few blocks away. The lights were bright and happy, but it rang hollow.


I was able to get a picture of the north and south (east and west?) of Times Square from the center of the street without even looking over my shoulder for a car. It felt heavy, sad, poignant. Governor Cuomo’s message had obviously gotten through.


This is a city where you don’t want to stay in your tiny apartment, where you’re just out, all the time, where the buzz and hustle is real and tangible and constant.


To see it quiet rattled me.


I hurriedly got back into my car and drove around the streets for a while. I didn’t get out of my car again but rather shot pictures and video through my window. I didn’t want to get out. It felt wrong being there.


To be the only car on the streets in a city the size of fullness of New York should have been fun to be able to zip around. It was the opposite of that. I just wanted to leave.


I headed over to Brooklyn, which took me a whole 20 minutes from the center of Chelsea and it was much of the same.


I’m glad I went. Going to New York was the goal, the Far East end-point, but I could not get out of there fast enough.


I headed north to Boston, shook and saddened by the experience...
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EMPTY AMERICA: Philadelphia

4/8/2020

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The ride north out of DC continued the trend of thinking “Are they even shut down?”


On the freeway, I got stuck in traffic. Traffic! Literally standstill. People were weaving, honking, in a rush. It felt like the pandemic had already swept through here and gone west. Who were all of these people and why were they going north with me?


This traffic continued up through Maryland and into Philadelphia. It was odd to see so many cars on the road and, nope, didn’t miss it at all. Give me the open roads of the south!


I circled around Baltimore (sorry city, I know you have some nice spots, but it was getting late and, well, Baltimore, at night, during a pandemic.... Wasn’t tempting to push that in the least. No offense). However, I did stop into Maryland House (their greeting center) for gas and a bathroom break. It’s still shocking to see chair and tables chained up, one fast food counter open amongst 10 dark ones, just the lack of humanity and buzz is still unnerving.


Luckily there’s Philadelphia. I decided not to hit the well-known tourist spots (Independence Hall, Liberty Bell) because I knew they’d be empty, devoid of tourists and definitely lacking locals, as I’m sure they do most days.


However, the “Rocky Steps” (aka The Philadelphia Museum of Art) I thought would be a sight to behold. I know it’s usually populated with both tourists and probably some locals jogging or hanging out in the grass in front.


Well, there was plenty of parking, but man those steps were full. Ok, not as full as a normal, functioning day of the week, and it did seem like most people were kind of keeping a solid 6 foot social distance here and there, but even looking around the area it just seemed under-populated. Not empty. Not one of the more crowded cities in the US, but like a nice central gathering place in a small town. There was the noise of traffic, conversation, phone calls, a police siren. Everybody seemed...OK.


Here’s the thing: I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. Is it the resiliency of the Philadelphia persona, the ability to laugh in the face of adversity and continue about their lives, or is it blocking it out, ignoring it, or not caring? I guess you could answer that depending on how you feel about Philadelphia locals. I was definitely confused.


I drove around and the bars and restaurants were closed, no one Fishtown, Passyunk or Old City. I mean, there were people there, walking, but nobody cavorting. So the bulk of the businesses were closed and they the streets were marginally full of pedestrians and the lanes had a fair number of drivers.


If I hadn’t been here before, was plopped down, completely naive, I would think this was a normally I operating city, just that maybe there was a health scare that shut down the food industry (which it is, yes, but the coronavirus isn’t food-borne). But nobody seemed worried, no masks, gloves or Hazmat suits.


Maybe that’s the right attitude? The happy medium? Maybe there’s the lesson: Don’t gather, close the doors of social hangouts, but don’t lose your attitude or your smile in it all
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EMPTY AMERICA: Washington, D.C.

4/8/2020

2 Comments

 
From Nashville I headed to DC with an overnight stay at a motel in Charleston (shout-out to Gino’s Pizza, local restaurant!) and I will tell you this: The trip has been surreal to say the least. However, if you really want to creep yourself out, be the only guest at a roadside motel for a night. In West Virginia. It’s....fun.


I would imagine Washington, DC would still be bustling, what with the government still officially open and the press and Senate and CDC and everyone making constant appearances on 24-news media.


I wasn’t wrong. There was finally, for the first time, a bit of traffic heading into the city. Not what I’m sure a normal day would be like, but you could sense that you were heading into an area that was still mostly-functional (I’ll leave political jabs aside as such as possible here).


However, all of those cars must have private parking underground or assigned spaces in some parking garage somewhere because, at the National Mall itself, there was ample parking. I never though I would be able to park just behind the Smithsonian. (As I’ve noted before, the silver lining in all of this is great traffic easement and wonderful parking options. Not a trade-off by any means, but a silver lining)


Now I had to wonder where all of those cars went because the Mall was empty! A few joggers, maybe one family enjoying the entire open circumference of patio around the Washington Monument, but otherwise, completely empty.


You could stand at the base of the Washington Monument and take either a picture of the Lincoln Memorial or the Capital Building in either direction and only get a smattering of people in the shot.


It made sense. This is an area that, and I’m guessing here, is 98% tourists on any given day. I can’t imagine locals really hang out or transgress it to get to work. Of course I’m being hyperbolic but it is an absolute tourist area. And since tourists are mostly staying home....


So add that industry to the list of those that are rocked by the pandemic: restaurants, bars, concert halls, theaters, ride shares, taxis, and everything empty here: museums, tourist traps, amusements, street performers.... the list goes on and on.


I made my way to the White House for curiosity and saw where all of those cars were most likely going: The parking lot in the front of it was packed!


It makes sense. Inside that hallowed building there is still a government working (for better or worse) plus press and staff and whatever else makes every day press briefings and staff meetings and whatever else goes on happen.


Oddly enough, standing outside the White House amongst the cars and security and normal hubbub, I finally felt a sense of normalcy. If I looked around, I’d think the world was just fine, virus-free, no shut-down. Ironic to think that standing in front of ground zero for the pandemic response...
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